I am alive! I had absolutely no intention of taking a blog break, especially this long, but time has flown by. I’m not even sure where to start catching up, although there really isn’t much to catch up on.
I almost decided to wait until tomorrow to get back to writing, simply because I don’t want to weigh in today. I keep reminding myself that I don’t “owe” a weigh-in on my blog, but I still feel guilty that I didn’t. I haven’t avoided such a scale in a long time! (Avoiding the scale is usually a slippery slope for me.)
I feel exactly like I did last year when I gained weight so quickly. I had been emotionally ridiculous and when I felt like things might be looking back, it was like I had this sense of relief and suddenly my appetite skyrocketed. I didn’t realize how low my appetite was in the late summer/early fall until it came back up so quickly.
After what Jerry calls “the worst year of our lives” (referring to the long string of mini-disasters/events we’ve faced), things are starting to turn around. I’m too afraid to screw it up, so I won’t go into details until everything goes as promised, but Jerry got some really good news at work about his work schedule–as we mentioned, he was trying to take a day to change for just now — and what he’s been promised is better than he’d hoped. But I don’t think about it until it happens, which is supposed to be mid-December.
Paying off the car and house last month was a huge relief – debt, even a mortgage, always leaves that tiny nag somewhere in an unfinished business. (At least for me.) Even though it came at the cost of my car (literally), it was worth it! When I have errands to run or places to go, I just schedule them when Jerry is either at home sleeping or off work.
We have been looking into getting another vehicle but right now is the worst time to buy a car. The interest rates alone are FIVE times what they were when we bought my car in 2020! So until rates come down, we’ll continue to make do with a car between Jerry and me.
Anyway, the thing is, I’ve been feeling so much RELIEF lately. Aside from the fact that our furnace completely stopped working a few days ago (*sigh*), we haven’t had any damage from the flood. Jerry felt that sense of relief, too, and it was so nice for both of us.
Except… we’ve eaten terribly. Both of us. It’s almost like we’ve been treating the last two weeks like a vacation, hahaha. You know that feeling of going on vacation and all the usual eating habits/rules don’t apply? That’s how we acted. (I still eat vegan, but vegan doesn’t mean healthy—that’s for sure.) And I know my weight is going up, even without looking at the scale. I see it in the mirror, I feel it in my clothes and I definitely feel it when I move my body.
Yesterday Jerry and I talked about how our eating habits have relaxed a lot and we both feel ready to get back on track. It’s only fun for so long; and this “holiday” must be over before we both gain 50 pounds. The funny thing is, we don’t grab it at all. Yeah, I wish I’d definitely made better choices — but I also don’t feel self-loathing or anything because I’ve been rather reckless lately. Getting through the last year without gaining 50 pounds is an achievement in itself.
The hardest part right now is just recognizing that I’m not “too far” and that nutritional damage can be minimized. It’s amazing how quickly our taste buds change, though. The healthy food I was so used to eating doesn’t hold the same appeal it did a few weeks ago. I also started craving junk food that I hadn’t even considered for at least a year or more.
Fortunately, just as taste buds can change for the worse, they can also change for the better. After a few weeks (or maybe less) of eating healthy again, I’ll start enjoying it like before. and the desires I have developed will go away.
Through it all, though, I managed to keep up my daily running habit. It’s been 75 days and I run around the block (sometimes two blocks) every morning before I do anything else. There are days (most, probably) when I think for a moment (in a whiny voice), “I don’t want to run today!”. but then I remind myself that it’s literally a block – I can see my house the entire 0.4 miles – so my brief “I don’t want to” thought is immediately dismissed.
However, I think I was overzealous with adding more habits in October, so I’d like to go back to basics. I can pick ONE new habit to work on each month, otherwise I forget/get overwhelmed trying to make too many changes at once.
I feel like the running habit is fully established now, and while I’ve been doing pretty well with it already, I’d like to work on making stretching as important a daily habit as running. I’ve been trying to make it a habit to stretch before bed, but found it uncomfortable during my evening routine. I’m much more likely to do it if I do it in the afternoon. And it’s not that I dislike it! I always feel good afterwards. And I definitely think it made a difference to the flexibility/stiffness in my back.
I was working on doing three stretches for 30 seconds each, but found myself always doing more. So now I will plan to do four stretches for a daily habit. I’ll probably do more than I plan, but like running, I’m keeping the goal too low to make it a daily habit.
Also, to try to make it a habit, I will plan to do it at 1:45 every afternoon. I don’t have an evening routine for stacking routines like morning and night, but usually, 1:30-2:00 is a regularly convenient time during the day. I’ll see how that works and reevaluate if doing it at a specific time doesn’t work.
Okay, this post was kind of all over the place, but this is what I get when I took a week off from blogging. In short: I haven’t been doing well lately with my diet but, mentally, I feel better than I have in a long time. However, I want to get back to eating/behaving as I feel best. This week I will tackle the scale and work from there.
I’ve been meal planning today, and considering our oven is broken right now, I’ve included a lot of soup. This is usually an easy thing to throw out, so I think it will help with healthy dinners this week. I will focus on getting plenty of fiber. something I’ve been missing lately. Adding beans to soup is the easiest way to get a ton of fiber!